The Mental Struggles of Chronic Pain
Chronic pain is both physically and mentally draining. Because chronic pain is an “invisible illness”, many people suffer from mental adversities. Even though I use pain management techniques to physically cope with my pain, there are times I am mentally drained because of my persistent headache. Here are some of the mental struggles of chronic pain.
1. Comparing our current selves to our past selves
It is challenging to stop comparing my current self to my past self. Because chronic pain is an “invisible illness”, I feel minimal difference on the outside and think I can do activities at the same level. This mentality caused many problems when I was diagnosed. Although it took time, I learned I cannot change the past and need to focus on my current self. Yes, I am living with a chronic illness, but I need to focus on my current self and work to make my future self better.
2. Comparing ourselves to others
It is natural for people to compare themselves with peers and others. I constantly questioned and compared myself to others, asking: What extracurriculars should I do to keep up, why does it take longer for me to process information, why do I have to work harder to get the same grades? I had to accept that because of my headache, it is hard to concentrate and this means I have to put in twice the amount of effort to get the same result. This was a hard barrier and I learned I cannot compare myself to others. Everyone is different and chronic pain illness needs to be managed at the same time.
3. Not knowing boundaries and when it is ok to rest
When I was first diagnosed with NDPH, It was difficult accepting that my life was different and that I needed to change my boundaries. I believed I could do everything at the same level and this led to me “crashing” in the middle of the week. I did not know my boundaries and did not know when to take breaks and slow down. I still struggle with this term today, but I have significantly improved at pacing and listening to my body. In the end, your health is the most important thing and you need to listen to your body if you want to manage pain while living life.
4. Feeling isolated and like nobody understands what you are going through
I felt isolated for the first 18 months of having NDPH. I did not know anyone else who had this rare condition and felt nobody understood what I was going through, especially the mental struggles. I went from being an active and social teenager to being a teenager who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. It was until attending the Cleveland Clinic Pain Rehab program where I realized I was not alone and that there are other kids who understand what I am going through. Just knowing other kids understood my struggles significantly helped my mental health and fight against chronic pain. This is one of the reasons I started Stronger Than Pain: to bring attention to chronic pain and let other people know they are not alone.
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